Hitting the Pause Button with Vanessa Nicolle and Mara Strobel-Lanka

In 2024, I interviewed four Northern Floridians about how they slow down for Edible NE Florida's feature "Hit the Pause Button: The Ritual of Slowing Down." Only parts of each conversation made it into the final published piece, so I decided to share the full discussions on my blog for those interested.

Below are my conversations with two key figures behind the Femme Fire Books Cookbook Club: the bookstore owner Vanessa Nicolle and artist/writer Mara Strobel-Lanka, who co-created and leads the club. I'll be sharing my other two interviews in upcoming posts.

The following interviews have been condensed and edited for clarity and brevity.

Interview with Vanessa Nicolle, Owner of Femme Fire Books

I've noticed a lot of content on social media about alternative ways of meeting and forming a community, like cookbook clubs. How did you decide to start one at Femme Fire Books?

Vanessa: I've seen people casually choosing a cookbook, having potlucks, and bringing that sense of community together. As a bookstore, we're interested in selling books, but we're also all about creating connections—whether it's our monthly book club, a book swap, or just a casual meet-up. The cookbook club felt like a perfect fit. It draws people in through books and cooking. We host it quarterly, and even though it's not frequent, people really look forward to it.

You're a small business owner at Femme Fire Books. How did you get into selling books?

Vanessa: Books have always rooted me. I read a lot as a kid, but it was during my time in the Navy, out on deployments, that reading became essential. Life was harsh and exhausting at sea, so books helped ground me at the end of each day. After I left the military, I wanted to find stories with Filipino representation—my heritage—but realized they were hard to come by. That's why I opened Femme Fire Books, where diversity is celebrated, and anyone can be represented on the shelves.

Femme Fire Books owner Vanessa Nicolle

Does reading still help you slow down in your current, more settled life?

Vanessa: Absolutely. I read every single day. With constant stimulation and social media everywhere, reading helps me put the phone down and focus. It's meditative. And discussing books afterward, like at our monthly book clubs, adds even more depth. Hearing someone else's perspective can transform how I see a story. It's a pause in our busy lives.

Does the same idea apply to the Cookbook Book Club—trying new recipes and discussing them afterward?

Vanessa: Definitely. The cookbook club forces us out of our comfort zones. Maybe we're all used to making the same easy recipes, but now we pick something new from the chosen cookbook. We talk about substitutions, techniques, and flavors. People share feedback, and it can completely change my perspective. I might discover a dish I'd never consider on my own, and it might end up in my regular rotation.

Have you received feedback that validated why you started the Cookbook Book Club?

Vanessa: Yes. For example, when we chose a Palestinian cookbook, some attendees were thrilled because they're Palestinian and rarely see their cuisine highlighted. Everyone got to try something unfamiliar, which was eye-opening. It showed how food and literature can bring us closer and help us appreciate different cultures.

What if someone isn't confident in their cooking skills—can they still join?

Vanessa: Of course! You don't have to be a great cook. Just bring something, even if it's simple. The idea is to try something new and be part of the conversation. It's a welcoming environment where everyone's there to learn, taste, and enjoy.

The club meets quarterly, which naturally spaces things out. Does that help people slow down and appreciate the process more?

Vanessa: I think it does. Doing it quarterly makes it feel special—a ritual you anticipate. You have time to choose a recipe, gather ingredients, and prepare thoughtfully. It's not about rushing. It's about taking a break from your routine, exploring new flavors, and sharing an experience with others.

Is there anything else you'd like to add about slowing down or making these gatherings meaningful?

Vanessa: Remember that it's all about community and enjoyment. There's no pressure to be perfect. Whether reading or cooking, it's about taking a moment to breathe, appreciate something new, and connect meaningfully with people.

Interview with Mara Strobel-Lanka, Artist and Cookbook Club Leader

I'd like to know if you started the Cookbook Book Club and how that happened.

Mara: We talked about it as an idea at the bookstore, and Vanessa approached me last year, asking if I'd be down to lead it. I've been collecting cookbooks for a while—initially just for the visuals, using older, photographed cookbooks as reference for my paintings. But I became more and more interested in actually cooking from them, and starting the club felt like a natural next step.

What inspired you to turn your love of cookbooks into a group activity?

Mara: I'd seen cookbook clubs popping up on social media—definitely not my original idea—and it looked like a lot of fun. I've always enjoyed hosting potlucks and dinner parties, so doing it through the bookstore just made sense. We have a great cookbook section, and Vanessa and I thought it would be a wonderful way to bring people together around food.

What kind of feedback do you get from people who attend?

Mara: The word "wholesome" comes up a lot. People tell me they wouldn't have chosen these cookbooks on their own, and now they're trying recipes outside their comfort zone. Some follow recipes to the letter, while others substitute freely. It's a mix of cooking styles that makes it interesting.

How does this club differ from just having dinner with friends?

Mara: I love that I end up sharing a meal with people I might never have met otherwise. Different ages, backgrounds—everyone sits down together, and we get to talk about the dishes we made. It's like Thanksgiving dinner but without needing a holiday. That sense of connection is really special.

Can you explain how the Cookbook Book Club works?

Mara: We pick four cookbooks for the year and meet quarterly. Everyone chooses a recipe from that book, cooks it, and brings it to share potluck-style. We introduce ourselves, talk about what we made, what worked, what didn't, and then we dig in. It's really laid-back and fun.

You mentioned that cooking from cookbooks requires more intention than just looking up a recipe online. Can you discuss that process?

Mara: Sure. Cooking from a cookbook slows me down. I have to plan ahead, read the recipe a few times, figure out how long it takes, maybe visit a specialty store for certain ingredients. On the day of the club, it might mean dedicating hours to prep, cook, and get everything ready. That deliberate approach makes the meal more meaningful.

Does actually sitting and eating together add to that sense of slowing down?

Mara: Absolutely. When we eat together, we talk the entire time. The meal stretches out; it's not some quick, 10-minute thing. It's more like a big holiday gathering—everyone savoring homemade dishes and swapping stories. There's a sense of presence and gratitude in that.

What if someone is too shy or introverted for a group event? Any advice?

Mara: You can still create your own ritual at home. For example, you could swap cookbooks with a friend, host a smaller gathering, or pick a theme like a "soup party" where everyone tries something new. The key is slowing down, experimenting, and sharing in a way that feels comfortable.

Manhattan Please Print, by Mara Strobel-Lanka

Your paintings also require focus and presence. Do you find parallels between painting and cooking from cookbooks?

Mara: Definitely. Painting quiets my mind, and cooking from a cookbook does too. Both demand attention to detail and keep me in the moment. It's about being fully engaged in what you're doing rather than rushing through it.

Is there a core idea behind all these rituals—painting, cooking, hosting—that resonates with you?

Mara: It's about care and connection. Investing time in something, whether it's making art or preparing a meal, brings people closer. We live in such a fast-paced world, but when you slow down and put effort into something meaningful, you create a kind of everyday celebration. It doesn't have to be a holiday to experience that sense of warmth and togetherness.